I'm practically normal!

Over the past 2 years, Mark and I have been on an emotional roller coaster. Right after we got married, I stopped taking birth control (August 07). When my period didn't show, we started on the progesterone (October 07). A few months later, we added Clomid (December 07). A few months after that, we added Metformin (March 08) while continuing to increase the dosage of Clomid. Another few months, we switched from the Metformin to Fortamet (May 08) after our first visit with the fertility specialist, which didn't have a large impact considering everything else I'd been through.

We moved back to Texas (August 08) and got new jobs. Met with the new fertility specialist (October 09) and began IUI immediately. All of the shots and other medications were a real doozy. IUI was on November 7, 2008 and we found out it took a few weeks later. So, after all the medications, doctor's visits, etc., we were THRILLED to be pregnant...but, I was a hormonal wreck still. We moved into our new house in early January and I started a new semester at school. Mind you, I struggled with bronchitis from November-January, so that was another stresser.

Long story short-- (too late)-- I'm finally feeling better physically. "Just say 'yes' to drugs!" And now that we're in the second trimester, the hormones have really settled down. For the first time in a year and a half, I feel like ME- Molly. The gal who enjoys life, likes to laugh and actually looks forward to things. I didn't realize how far away from my normal I was until I started coming back. I feel terrible for putting Mark through all this crap, but I'm very thankful that he's willing to stick by me when I'm not at my best. I guess, in some odd way, it makes me love him more simply because he put up with me.

Just how far along am I?

I have lots I want to write about, but I don't want this entry to get too lengthy. I guess I'll post multiple times this week to get caught up on the rest.

I had an OB visit last Monday. We got to hear little Peanut's heartbeat, which was fantastic. I was sad we didn't get to see the precious child though. I thought I was right at 15 weeks, but the doctor said I'm closer to 16. That makes me pretty darn close to 17 now, which is totally amazing!

We did the Quad test (I think that's what it's called)-- the blood test where they check for a number of things including Cystic Fibrosis. Dr. Howell was really careful to explain that the chance of a false positive is certainly real, and even if I'm a carrier for CF, it doesn't mean Peanut will have it. It's just one of those things where we have to wait and see. If the tests come back positive, it's not like we're going to choose to not keep Peanut-- we'll just have to educate ourselves on how to be better parents for him/her.

Our next appointment is March 9 (just 2 weeks) where we hope to find out the sex of the baby. Our doctor has said "boy" since day 1-- even before examining me. What are your thoughts?!?

Friends, friends

After announcing the pregnancy, I've gotten in contact with a bunch of folks who I've not talked to in way too long. Many of these folks are sorority sisters from college. While we talk occasionally (weddings, birthdays, showers, etc.) the close personal relationships with many of these gals has been lost over the years.

One response I received to my announcement (from a non-sorority sister) was "Wow! I'm so jealous- we've been trying over a year." Uh, yeah- I read that you were diagnosed with PCOS and offered some insight and support....but didn't feel it necessary to share the intimate details of my business. After I explained our story, she told me she thought she was knocked up (got TWO positive pregnancy tests but was concerned they were false positives). My "nesting days" came out, and I schooled her....nicely, of course.

I know that Mark and I didn't try as long as MANY people, and we didn't have to endure what MANY go through. I know we got lucky with our first IUI, and I know we're blessed. I often forget, however, that lots of folks trying to conceive don't have an understanding of the journey it takes many. I guess, to some extent, that I'm fortunate to have stumbled upon the Nest's "Trouble Trying to Conceive" board before finding my home at Getting Pregnant. While it scared the crap out of me, it made me realize that I'm not as bad off as many of the women out there. In essence, reading about the struggles of others provided me a bit of sensitivity and understanding. A year after first reading the T-TTC board, I re-visited it to learn about IUI. While I never thought *I* would be posting on that board, I knew I wasn't struggling as much as some.

I'm rambling now, but all of this to say- I realize I'm blessed.

Many other friends have reached out to me with their stories of infertility. Five of my college friends- girls in my sorority- are struggling with infertility. Each of them has a different story, and our mutual experiences and struggles have brought us closer together. While infertility stinks, getting close to friends again is something to appreciate.

let my fingers do the talkin'

So, yeah, another week has passed and here I am just now making myself write. I log on almost daily and read what y'all have to say, but I need to get better about writing myself.

My birthday party Friday was fabulous. There were lots of old college friends, so it was good to see them. Mark and I decided to share the Peanut News with our friends that night, so it was extra exciting. I got my first few belly rubs too, and oddly enough, I wasn't put off by it...probably because I totally adore the folks who touched. It was funny too-- they rubbed my tummy above my belly button (wouldn't expect them to grab lower), and I said, "That's not Peanut, that's fat. Peanut's down here, but you better watch out-- Mark's here." It got some good laughs and comments about how I'm not fat.....yeah, well, I've lost 20 pounds since getting knocked up....and you can't tell!

I've been sicker than a dog again, which totally sucks. After the basketball game last Wednesday, I knew I was in trouble. I used my sexy phone operator voice to teach classes Thursday and Friday, but by Saturday, I was a mess. My throat has been hurting pretty bad lately, and my ears have been aching too. I finally got in with a general practitioner on Tuesday (stayed home sick from work too due to a low grade fever), and he thinks all I've got is allergies....boooo! Allergic Bronchitis-- there's nothing wrong with my throat and he didn't even look at my ears! I got some new meds, called the OB to make sure they're alright and went about my business.

Despite having absolutely NO voice, I went back to work today. I taught my 8am class at the high school, which was delightful and then managed to get to my 10am class as well. We were almost done with class when I had a coughing attack. I'd already left the class once to refill my water bottle and bum a cough drop or peppermint off the secretary. So, when I started coughing again, I excused myself. Got some more water and then went to the bathroom to cough it out (kinda like "walk it out" but a lot less cool). I had tears running down my face as I coughed my little head silly.....then simultaneously threw up and peed my pants! Uh, yeah-- can't go back to class now. I had the secretary dismiss my class and I made some quick preparations for my final class of the day to be cancelled....what a day!

I got home from work and changed into some comfy pants. In the process, I stepped on Shi-Thead. He yelped and I did all I could to not put weight on his little paw....and fell down. Luckily, the majority of the impact was on my hip/butt area, but I was still a bit shaken by falling on Peanut's poor noggin'. I know Peanut is protected in there and all, but I hate to have shaken baby syndrome before the child is even born!

There are days when you should just go back to bed, pull up the covers and try again. I think today was one of those days....I'm going to carve out some time in the next few days to write about some of my friends. The deserve a shout-out even though they don't know this blog exists.