"Suffering builds endurance. Endurance builds character. Character builds hope."
The above phrase was the "theme" of our sermon on Sunday. I go to a small church with about 50 faithful members. Our minister is really down-to-earth and often offers practical messages. Last Sunday, however, it was like he was speaking directly to me. Of course, the minister was speaking about the suffering of many in our congregation- mostly serious illness. For me, though, the suffering is less dramatic.
My life has been in a holding pattern for quite a while now. I've been applying for jobs back in Texas, so Mark and I can move home. I was strung along in a couple of situations while Mark turned down promotions here in Mississippi. Just when we thought we were to be in MS for another year, a Dean where I've applied called and said I might be considered for a job. Here we are a week and a half later, and no further news.
My current employer knows about my situation and is supportive of me. My husband, however, just learned that he might have the opportunity to move to a location closer to home. (He now commutes 72 miles each way 6 days a week.) Well, if he accepts that job, we're stuck here for a full year. I'm fine with that, but what if this place in Texas calls me after he accepts a position? AGH! I'm going crazy in anticipation and the not knowing is killing me.
To add to our limbo, I'm on cd10 and curious if I might actually ovulate this cycle. If not, we're onto "the big guns" and that doesn't sound like fun, especially since we don't have infertility coverage.
And, so, my little bit of suffering in limbo will build endurance, which builds character which builds hope. And right now, hope is about all I've got!
5 comments:
You're in my prayers, and I hope you ovulate too!
That verse always gets me, too. You're in my thoughts and prayers, Mol.
((hugs)) from Wed.
Wow, I love that quote and couldnt agree more. You are always in my prayers, Mol. And I am hoping like crazy that you O this cycle!
I hope you do O! I hate waiting to ovulate, it seems like the longest wait ever. Even though your suffering and being in limbo might not be the same as what other people are going through, it is hard. Dealing with TTTC and fertility issues is hard work, and sometimes we don't give ourselves enough credit for dealing with all of this as gracefully as we can. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
You have to hang your hat on something, and sometimes that thing is hope and your faith. You have to start somewhere!
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